Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
