I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
