There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
He did a backflip because drugs
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
