I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
