it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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