I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
