it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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