Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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