I heard we made out
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize