I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
