Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
