Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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