So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
