I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
