actually, I'm a sock model
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Someone shattered a urinal.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
