Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize