I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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