He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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