Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
and she was petting her beer can
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
