I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
