so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
