you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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