North Korea, Best Korea!
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
