all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
then he tried to convert me to islam
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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