We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
