Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
