My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
