I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
You made out with two different species that night
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I smell like Dick and happiness
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
