so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
