my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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