Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Drunk is not a location!
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
