No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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