It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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