i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
