I'm laying in your front yard are you home
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Go christen that room with your naked body.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize