She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
