I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
