Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize