Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
