Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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