Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Randomize
