if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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