so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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