Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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