So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
