I'm lost and stupid without you.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize