what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Ladies don't puke and tell
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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