Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
