I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
