Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
That reminds me...we need to get swords
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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