I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
