I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
