No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Randomize
