Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Randomize
