I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
