I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
