And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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