shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I will be naked everywhere
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
