its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Im part way to drunk.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize