so explain again why im purple
no
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
