Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Randomize
