Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
