My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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