my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize