covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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