the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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