There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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