if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
