So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize