No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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