Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
