So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
