Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I think my moral compass just broke
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