i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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