i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
