i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
this just has baby written all over it
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
