I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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